Filed under: Leafs POV | Tags: jeff finger is rich, nhl playoffs 2010, plekanec's turtleneck, yappy lappy
There are some things about the NHL Playoffs that are certain:
1) Teams will rise to the occasion
2) Teams will crumble and fall
3) Alcohol Consumption will adjust itself accordingly.
Whether you’re celebrating a Stanley Cup victory or drowning your sorrows, we are here to offer you some guidelines to enhance your playoff experience.
TAKE A SIP WHEN…
- Dan Carcillo does a tough guy act while the referee holds him back (+1 if he looks particularly like Popeye the Sailor while doing so)
- During a Predators game you remember that Jason Arnott is still in the NHL
- Daniel Alfredsson makes any form of guarantee
- Play is delayed because of the puck getting stuck in Scott Hartnell’s hair
- Mike Babcock smiles (or does anything except scowl)
- Alex Ovechkin celebrates a teammates goal as if he scored it himself
- Every time the word “Stempniak” is said by a commentator
- Someone questions how aerodynamic Patrick Kane’s mullet is
- Sidney Crosby takes a dive
- Sidney Crosby takes a two-hander to the face and someone remarks that Crosby is a diver/pussy/too old to be living in Mario Lemieux’s basement
- Ron Mclean is clearly holding back laughter during a Don Cherry rant
- A call is blown on a video replay
TAKE A GULP WHEN…
- A call is correctly made on a video replay
- Tuukka Rask makes a great save and someone in a Leafs jersey is seen crying in the third row
- A questionable 4th goal is let in and the backup goaltender is shown sitting on the bench
- A questionable 4th goal is let in by a Canadiens goaltender and the fans are shown tipping over his car and burning down his parents house
- The Pittsburgh Penguins; needing a spark to get momentum, send out Max Talbot to get the piss beat out of him.
- A Phoenix Coyotes player accidentally steps on the ice prematurely wearing next years “Winnipeg Jets” jersey
- Patrick Kane is shown on screen with his mouthguard actually in his mouth
- Ovechkin is shown throwing water on his face (if unable to consumer anymore, feel free to splash beer on own face)
- Dany Heatley is shown texting Mark Messier on his Blackberry while on the bench
- Evgeni Malkin splits the D and dangles around Crosby’s shadow to score a highlight reel goal
- Detroit Red Wings fans throw an octopus onto the ice
- Phoenix Coyotes fans throw rubber snakes onto the ice
TAKE A CHUG WHEN…
Chris Osgood realizes he has finally been unseated as the Red Wings starter and returns his helmet to the dumpster he found it lying next to in 1976- Maxim Lapierre actually drops the gloves instead of hiding in Plekanec’s turtleneck every time he has to back up his incessant yapping
- Pierre Maguire mentions how awful Mellon Arena is (mere hours before he returns to his parents house to sleep under his Dion Phaneuf bedsheets)
- A home game for the Ottawa Senators actually features the majority of the fans cheering for the Sens
- Chris Pronger’s wife is shown researching new NHL cities to move to
- Scott Hartnell’s wife is shown researching cities to fool around with Jeff Carter
- Toronto Maple Leafs fans throw Jeff Finger onto the ice
Enjoy,
L&L
PS: Add your own rules in the comments.
Filed under: Leafs POV | Tags: canadiens 2010 playoff run, kessel trade, plekanec's turtleneck
Well, stage one of the Kessel trade is complete. The trade right now is looking like Tyler Seguin, a 2nd, and a 2011 1st. Yes, Taylor Hall will go first. You’re wrong if you think otherwise. As for the deal, it looks pretty steep. I wouldn’t call it a loss quite yet, and it definitely isn’t the worst trade we’ve made with the Bruins recently (Come back, Tuuka)
However, this deal won’t be able to be properly evaluated until Seguin (and the faceless teenager we hand over to the Bruins next year) is in his 2nd or 3rd year and as is. Our side of the trade; Phil Kessel, is still 21 and developing. Phil needs to have a big summer in the gym.
Either way, we’ve got a 21 year old who can score 30 goals with help or training camp. The best is yet to come. This issue has been talked to death by Leafs fans so I’m simply not going to talk about it anymore. A twisted part of me curious what Habs fans think of the Kessel deal, though.
As was previously stated, this blog aims to provide a different angle on the Leafs and Habs. I’ve listened to Habs fans talk about their playoff chances against the Capitals and I’m generally hearing the same thing: they’re going to get run over. And here it is, Habs fans: you’re going to get run over. Now, don’t get me wrong – the Capitals can be stopped (and will be, in my opinion, by the Penguins). Ovechkin and Backstrom are legitimate stars but I can’t see Alex Semin being a “dig deep” style of player to take you far into the playoffs. The questions continue on the back end, as the blue line is far from the best and the questions in goal are essentially endless for Washington.
These questions were asked by Plekanec the other day as he questioned Jose Theodore’s credentials. Apparently it isn’t enough for the Habs and company to throw their own two goalies under the bus. On a related note, I don’t think a man who wears a turtleneck to work should be dishing out advice of any sort.
I always liked Jose when he was in Montreal and I can’t deny that I’d take some pleasure to watch him shut the Habs down. However, I don’t think the Caps would be the reason for an early post-season exit for the Canadiens. With top talent including Gionta, Gomez, and the Kostitsyns I’m not exactly here screaming about “playoff warriors”. So unless whichever goalie you don’t boo out of the bell centre steals four games, Mikey Cammalleri carries the team on his back, or he parks himself in front of Halak and blocks shots with his giant head, your playoff toolbox is a few wrenches short.
So from my end, I think the Habs playoff hopes are out of their hands, and you’ll have to wait and hope that Ovechkin injures Nik Backstrom and Mike Green in a botched celebration. But hey – feel free to disagree. And if you don’t, at we can all unite in our collective effort to laugh the Sens out of first round at the hands of my prediction for champions, the Pittsburgh Penguins.
On an unrelated note: the first chirp from this blog comes from PPP, who, when I asked him how to promote this blog to the Hab community he suggested we “write it in crayon”.
LEAFS VS HABS 